my thoughts are jumbled this week.stating that usually begins a sorting process that usually ends up with a straighter line to my thoughts.not this week, and I'm afraid not for a while.mini-sessions, paris, obama, ben carson, selfies, storytelling, auschwitz, christmas presents, homeless people, the cold, hypocrisy, judgement, truth, twitter, my kids childhood, work, ministry, news outlets, insecurity, the national anthem being sung for a war victim, extremists, photography, sports, serving, commitments...all of these thoughts and more have filled my mind this week alone.I told you jumbled.there are a few of these jumbled thoughts that continue to rise to the surface.particularly thoughts involving terrorism...my friend posted Steven Spielberg's latest fifteen-minute documentary on Auschwitz earlier last week right before the Paris attacks.I originally watched it without sound...even with no sound, I felt as if I couldn't breathe.it's horrifyingly captivating.the opening setting at 0:36 was what gripped me initially...that wall of photographs.the woman toasting on her wedding day,the apparent brothers smoking fancy cigarettes/cigars,the toddler barely standing for his portrait,the older man with the fantastic salt and pepper beard,those photographs represent real actual people...people just like you and me and the loved ones around me.portraits and photographs JUST like the ones I take on a regular basis.my kids, who I hugged and buried my nose in their sleepy necks this morning, are real actual people.my husband who I lay in bed with last night snuggled up in the crook of his arm laughing trying to get warm under our blankets, is a real actual person.pinch yourself right now...no, literally pinch yourself...I did and came to the conclusion that I am a real actual person.the people in that wall of photographs...those real actual people,they were boarded up, separated from their families, separated from their homes, separated from real actual life,they were boarded up and shoved on a train and shipped out to the middle of nowhere...to be tattooed, starved, beaten, horrifically abused, and killed.and why?because a group of people led by a sociopathic man chose to blame them for losing at war and for creating an economic crisis.because a group of people thought that the human race could be clearly segregated into different races andthat there was an impure struggle going on between the different races.because according to this group of people, these "Nazis", the ‘Aryan race’ was the best and strongest race.because these real actual people on the wall were of the inferior race in the Nazis eyes.in fact so inferior that they were not considered to be ‘people’ by the Nazis...and needed to be exterminated.I can't help but see the correlation between the insanity that was neo-nazism and ISIS.the ideology is different, but the absolute insane justification in killing innocent real actual people is the same.at 12:18 in the Steven Spielberg's Auschwitz documentaryyou can hear an echo of a real actual person who had been stripped of everything she had known and forced to live in living hell Auschwitz when she is rescued:

"someone out there really cares about me."

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more jumbled thoughts...the image of this man taken by Daniel Etter...his name is Laith. Laith Majid.he is a real actual person.his face grips me.through tear-filled eyes, I see a dad - like my own husband, I see a parent - like myself...cling to his children in happy relief to be freed from his living hell.this real actual person fled his home, fled his every day life, fled his street he grew up on, fled his friends and extended family...this man has fled his previous life.fled.I do not think I have fled anything in my life...much less my entire life that I have ever known.in this one moment you can see the absolute anguish on his face...incredible sadness mixed with utter relief.this image is unreal.more images from the closed borders surrounding Syria came to my newsfeed this morning taken by Magnus Wennman:the people on that wall of photographs in Auschwitz lived in close proximity to the ones who were persecuting them.they lived in villages nearby, in Poland, in Germany.the man in this picture, Laith, lived in close proximity to ISIS who was persecuting him and his family.he lived in villages nearby...these children live in cities nearby...desperate to escape the hell the are currently growing up in.I read recently an article that Jeremy Courtney posted regarded the tragedy in Paris and the every growing problem that ISIS is."The world is scary as hell. Love anyway. It is not right or reasonable to tell anyone, “Do not be afraid.”Terrorism is terrifying. But we should aim to not be ruled by fear."I do not know what my part is in not being ruled by fear is...yet.I feel my soul stirring when I read stories like Laith's (happy update, he has found a new home in Germany),when I watch beautiful heart-wrenching documentaries like Auschwitz I feel a need for justice pulsing through my veins.but I feel small as a American white photographer woman/wife/mom...but still, how does that saying go? "you can't help everyone, but you can help someone."?somewhat surprisingly I've heard polarizing responses to these new Syrian refugee's..."they are not our responsibility"; "we can't even take care of our own"; "they should be someone else's problem"...it sounds very much like the united states response at the beginning of WWII:during World War II, the U.S. turned away Jews due to security concerns.we sent shiploads back to the camps because we were scared that Nazi spies could hide in their midst.the end result is one of the largest stains on human history in our living lifetime.that fear is understandable.like what Jeremy said: "The world is scary as hell."I feel it too.but that fear doesn't make being not compassionate right.it doesn't make reacting in fear right.I understand the need and absolute desire to protect my own...but I think I can be both compassionate and wise in that protection...I don't know what that looks like exactly, but I think it can be done.what I do know is that someone, me, needs to act and care and fight for these real actual people...I keep saying real actual people because I think that for me, to feel otherwise is to reduce what is.these real actual people become simply images on a screen, a stain on someone else's history, something to feel sad over and then forget.other than the sovereignty of God I could be one of these real actual people.they bleed the same as me, their heart beats the same as me, they have kids like me, husbands like me, laugh like me, cry like me...they are just. like. me.the major difference is that they are being forced into an actual living hell.something needs to be done for these real. actual. people.simply put, I would desperately want/need someone to care for me if/when I couldn't.for now I will continue to pray - I know in my soul it matters and He hears...but hopefully soon, it will be time to do.Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep."Matthew 5:43-45 "You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."

real actual people.

"someone out there really cares about me."

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