be you

inspiration is everywhere.but what do you do when you're faced with inspiration's evil twin sister: comparison?that's what's filling my head today...I had three conversations with three different people about this subject this week.comparison.one guy, two girls...same conversation.why do we have this insatiable desire to look to the right and left?to find our value or identity in the person next to us?body type,intellect,artistic ability,athletic ability,hair color,nail color,vocal accent,the car you drive,the house you live in,the camera you shoot with,the lens you shoot with,the type of shoes you wear,the coffee you drink,the music you listen to...if you look at that list up there, living in the land of comparison has three possible outcomes:one, you can choose to replicate.it isn't going to be your voice,it's going to be someone else's.to me, replication would look a little like me trying to sound and talk exactly like arnold schwarzenegger.ridiculous illustration, but good in the sense that everyone knows I will never be able to sound like the muscle man from austria.it's just not possible.(nevermind the fact that I have a serious obsession with wedges that I would have to give up in order to really replicate arnold.) ;)but replication is a little like that.it's just not quite possible to look or sound like the original.also, the not-so-funny thing about replication is that in the end, it's hollow.the happiness of replicating will last for the fifteen minutes of recognition,but then that overwhelming feeling of hollow-ness will soon overshadow any feeling of happiness.then you're left trying to replicate or transform yourself again, searching for that ever elusive feeling of happiness.there is no joy.I am in no way arrogant enough to say that at thirty-five I have my own voice figured out, far from it...but I'm trying.I always trying to find balance between replication and inspiration...and I know that in the end, if it isn't inspired by Him and lived trying to please Him, joy for me, will always be an illusion.so here's a nugget of truth to the few of you who read this, :)you have a voice...what are you saying with it?it's yours alone, given by Him...what are you choosing to say with it? the second outcome comparison can have is: defeat.I'll never look like "her" so therefore I will be defeated and eat this entire box of thin mints. :)I'll never shoot like "him" so therefore I will resign myself to auto-mode and never push past the hard - and this is good enough, right?I'll never have a house like "them" so therefore I will be discontent with everything that could be viewed as a blessing.this is the saddest outcome to me...defeat.defeat is a temptation for me, but in the end it's never the option.I know that I can't compare my life's behind-the-scenes with someone else's highlight reel.I know this because of how He see's me,He loves me.He made me exactly the way He made me.choosing to be whatever about anything for very long isn't an option when you know truth like that...there was a quote that I liked the other day:

"you've lost some of your much-iness...you used to be so much more."

I am any kind of much because of how He has made much out of loving me.that's a whole lot of much-iness. (yeah, I went there...much.) ;)as a bonus to this thought, one of my favorite scenes from friends (yes, I still watch it every night thanks to nick at night) is of monica trying to tap-dance:

she wasn't perfect, but she didn't let defeat win. :) that leads me to the final outcome of comparison:the full circle back to inspiration.fortunately/unfortunately, we live in the land of pinterest/facebook/tumblr/twitter/your choice of social media...inspiration literally is everywhere.the key is being inspired and then finding your own voice by the said inspiration.I know that I am not curing cancer with my camera.I know that I am never going to be a five foot ten Barbie doll.I know I will never give a class on physic's on the Harvard campus.but I'm inspired by those who can.I'm inspired by how those people who choose to live out loud with the voices they have.it reminds me to do what I do because He's given me the ability to do it.don't let comparison steal your joy.be you.