my last journal post was july 17th, 2017.dassss' a long time. :)I guess I kinda figured I'd come back when I had the time, but I'm realizing that there is never enough time and you have to make time for the things that are valuable to you.and writing out thoughts and stories are valuable to me...even if I've shelved the practice for a year or so.so why the year long break?mostly because I couldn't find peace in my why.I've given that singular question a lot of attention and ponderment this past year.lol, I'm slow and it took me a full year but I think I've finally made peace with my why:

because God valued and values story telling.and because I like to.

for the first half of my why - think about the stories He's locked in for us to read for all of eternity in His Word.  stories about ruth, moses, daniel, david, esther, mary, martha, peter, paul, john and so many more.  these stupid awesome stories and people that we go back to time and time again to be encouraged from - to learn from..their stories lived within His story frozen in scripture for all of history.  that's crazy awesome.*fast forward to now*storytelling is a little more challenging because there are supposedly new "requirements" to them.stories are "supposed to" be limited to only 280 carefully selected characters/hashtags.stories now are "supposed to" be paired with picture-perfect/true-to-your-brand/tea-stained/white-walled images or thirty second highlights because who really has time to stop and actually read longer than a double tap.faced with what I viewed current storytelling as and then also taking into consideration what my pastor friend questioned almost had me throwing in the towel completely...my pastor friend was ballsy enough to call out social media a few weeks ago calling it self-indulgent and self-obsessed and then asked the probing question who even cares and what's the value in it?all of these thoughts/questions/opinions have challenged me to find my own conclusion...thus the year break, I guess. ;)so my conclusion?well, I don't disagree that most of the internet/social media is self-indulgent and self-obsessed...freaking "selfies" alone - don't even get me started on those. and I think that based on a few friendslatest posts that we are getting utterly sick from our self absorption. somewhere along the line, we've bought into the lie that the more we can consume/chase/post our selves, the more satisfied we will be. yet time and time again I'm hearing that consuming more of ourselves only makes us thirstier for something real - something...not of ourselves.  but I'll save those thoughts for another days post.and I don't know if it's just my stubbornness rearing it's ugly head but I still feel like there is purpose and value in trying to do this part of life right.right or wrong, social media is here to stay...apparently we're all just nosy, self-obsessed, busy-bodies and I don't see that going away any time soon. ;)*random side thought* back in the day, I bet markets and city squares were the social media hotspots of the day. ;)so for my conclusion I come full circle back to my original thought from above,I think that there is good/purpose/value through story telling, speaking truth and looking to encourage...even in just every day life stuff.even on social media.yep, I really do.I also feel like God has been telling me for a while that I need to up my game in telling those stories more.not just settling for posting another "amaaaaaazeballs swoon-worthy" session insta-post (if you just cringed - I feel you - those two words are two words I'd love omitted from life.) ;)but actually slowing down enough to share the why of the post - which means I have to have a why to post.and then also one last thought, I then have to care less of the judgement, criticism, doing things "wrong" or whatever else you'd like to fill the why to not to blank with.so there you go, this is me giving it a go again.and here are a few favorite memories from our family trip back east because tomorrow my kids go back to school and leave me until may. *sigh.*  I hate school and will forever wish for more summer break. :)

1. one of the ceilings from the library of congress in washington d.c...I was absolutely blown away by the artistry in this building. real people painted real brush strokes to make just this ceiling art. that is crazy amazing.

2. my bug and boy in one of the most session worthy spots in d.c...the botanical garden museum...SO beautiful.3. a beautiful real magnolia growing on a magnolia tree in arlington.  one of the most humbling places I've been to.4. the "captain america" run.  "on your left!"  yes, we're nerds. ;)5. the holocaust museum.  if you only go to one museum in washinton d.c., go to this one.  perspective + gratitude and unbelief is what I walked away feeling...the portrait room with all of the portraits of people who died at the hands of nazi's broke me and I actually wept.  that group of kids in one of the portraits could have been my kids...those three sisters could have been me and my sisters...such beautiful stories cut short because of insanity.6. the atlantic ocean.  so far my favorite ocean because of maine.  if I could transplant everyone I know and love to here, I would in a heartbeat. :)7. I always smile at ebenezers and can't not hear "...prone to wander, Lord I feel it..."  I love them.8. my BIL doing his best to get us to smile...9. when you ask them to do whatever they'd like and their dad awkwardly freaking busts out a dab and they can't not laugh hysterically at him.10. awkward is a family trait for us. ;)  but I love it. :)11. my all-time favorite tree on my father in law's land.12. we barely watched t.v. because we were exploring outside most of the time...I love and wish more of that for my arizona babies...13. my father-in-law is straight up goals for when I'm 70 something years old.  I love him.  please note his serious focus in the first picture. :)14. like grandpa like grand-daughter.  still can't not laugh every.single.time. I look at these. :)14. do not mess with driesbach's and their water games/water balloon fights.  it's like the hunger games but with pie afterwards. :)15.  pure americana every time we get to go east.  I love it.