I got to go away up north this weekend with about three hundred students + staff from my church.and my conclusion to this weekend is that God is good.those three words are so terribly small for how I feel at the moment...and I'm finding it difficult to describe my heart.I think my heart is feeling two-fold...maybe?my heart is thankful...thankful that God is a God who is so, so good to His kids...thankful for connecting people who might not otherwise ever be connected let alone cross paths and making them a people...thankful for making us His people...and in turn making them my people...thankful for music...and getting to express your heart in a way that stirs your soul...thankful that for music causes' you to close your eyes and experience the closest thing to heaven this side of heaven...thankful for men like these who write + play music"...now my eyes are open fixed on You......and my heart it comes alive again......Lord, I lift my hands do what You will...here's my heart, it's Your heart.here's my life, it's Your life..."thankful for my girls...thankful that through their transparency I learn more about His grace,learn more what it means to truly get out of the way and serve as His hands + feet,learn how to love more and think less of myself,learn how to be more patient...learn how to not take life too seriously and just have fun...and the kind of fun where you have tears rolling down your cheeks from laughing...my heart is thankful for my family...there is nothing...A.B.S.O.L.U.T.E.L.Y. nothing like getting to see your family have their own love for Jesus.from the front while singing "how great is our God" with the whole room literally resounding in praise...yes, resounding...so much so that I swear angels peeled back the roof so they could get a better look at the worship that was SO happening,I watched my kids have tears on their faces, smiles on their faces, arms outstretched in unashamed full-body worship, loudly singing the same song to our good God...and then I looked over to the other side of the stage to see the man I get to do life with...the man who leads us faithfully and unchangedly (is that a word? if not I just made it one)...his eyes closed, head tilted back, smile on his face...worshiping.these are my people...my family - blood and by Jesus' blood...for all of eternity.my favorite part of camps with my family is when we all sit in the kitchen and eat whatever we can scrounge up...sharing the highlights of camp from each of our perspectives...laughing at the stories of climbing up the stupid cold + slippery mountain and then back down again half frozen,stories of playing football in the snow with buddies, wrestling matches + red star (seriously, who made this game up it's awesome and awful at the same time!)...telling stories of the latest "here comes Jesse-Boo-Boo" craziness,and then also sharing heart highlights and what our favorite God moments were...I love it.and I know it is not the same for everyone, so I literally cherish it...yes, cherish.there isn't another word that I know of that can describe how I feel about these treasured moments of mine.the flipside to this thankfulness in my heart is the bittersweet ache that is mixed into my heart at the same time...this year is my twenty-seventh winter camp...first as a camper and then as a small group leader. yep, I'm as old as dirt. ;)in those twenty seven years I've gotten to see some pretty amazing God things...and meet some amazing people.but my heart always remembers Matthew 13:"...a farmer planted seed.as he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it.some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn’t put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly.some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the weeds.but some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.are you listening to this? really listening?..”I love that from the Message...are you really listening?camp highs come and go...it gets a bad rap because of the second seed, but I actually like them, camps highs that is...a lot in fact.they can fan a tired small faith flame into something bigger...they can give you a short drink on this long life hike...we all need that every once and a while...my heart ache comes because of the after...the time in the parable where the seed has had time to grow that tells a truer story...I always say that places like lost canyon have echo's...and it really does...I can hear old conversations, see different faces that I've loved and still love even though they've moved on...my heart aches because of the lived out truth of Matthew 7:14:

...the road is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

the world is loud...and the truth to "those who find it are few" is true...I think that is why he asked twice "are you listening to this?  really listening?"and so I smile again...albeit it bittersweetly...because there are those who are really listening...those whose hearts haven't been choked out by the weeds of the world...girls who I got to talk to this weekend and be challenged by, be encouraged by...staff who serve seemingly tirelessly and whole-heartedly - even when life is just dang hard and full...and guys who balance serving with laughing that it makes this narrow road so stinking fun to be on...I love the question Paul asked:

what story do you want your life to tell?

I genuinely want my story to be forever inter-woven with His story...it's such a good story to be a part of...the best in fact. :)winter camp 2016, a life united...God is so good. :)