jen

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37

37I turned thirty-seven this past weekend.thirty-freaking-seven. :)I genuinely never thought or dreamt I'd reach thirty-seven...I just thought Jesus would come back by then and my dreams were limited to maybe thirty tops. ;)so why am I writing about being thirty-seven?because I've learned a few things through my early/mid thirties that are worth remembering for me.sometimes I write and blog simply for me or even sometimes for my kids...it's kind-of my own journal and I imagine (sometimes morbidly) that someday I will be gone and that this blog will act as a journal for my kids.so write today, I will. ;)

1. I've learned and am still learning to value the loved ones who value me in return and to strive to let go of the rest emotionally.

if I'm being honest, that's a really hard one for me.like rootball (look it up, it's a thing) hard.I'm a people pleaser and I want all people to respond positively to me.but you know what?that's simply not always going to happen this side of heaven.and. that's. okay.I've wasted so much energy, thought and emotion on people who simply don't return love and value back to me.and the conclusion to this wasted time is to simply let-it-go.easy to say, hard to do.the easiest way I've found to do this is to invest my time, energy, love and emotion on the ones who DO love and value me.it makes those relationships big and the ones that shouldn't mean much small.the only lingering heart-ache in doing this is noticing how "narrow the road" gets.and I think you can look at that narrow way one of two ways.one, negatively you can get to the point of saying "what's the point" if it's going to be so narrow and lonely?but like I said, negative nelly is only found in that way of thinking.I prefer the latter way of looking at the "narrow road":those friends that make it to the end with you...it may be only one or two...those are the ones you get-to invest you time, energy, effort with and they make that narrow road just a little bit less narrow.thelma + louise, holmes + watson, sam + frodo or one of my favorites...andy + red.one of my favorite scenes about finding that one good friend is from the shawshank redemption:at the end of your journey...who do you want to be there...the masses on the wide road that never really root deep in your heart?  or those one or two friends who will be there for you no matter what and who make life a little less hard and put a smile on your face?

2. live + love simply and purposefully.

the older I get the more I see with clearer eyes at how much time I've wasted in my life.time is precious...and you only get a certain amount of days to live fully the way God intended you to strive to live and to love even more fully.each day it matters to say and act I love you.each day it matters how you live...don't waste it on superficial things, but rather live with purpose and intent.choose wisely and love extravagantly.

3. do what you like and were made to do and don't care about who doesn't like it.

stat counters for business are a good thing and a horrible thing in my opinion.they give you a number-gauge to see what people and potential clients are interested in.crazy cool that over 70,000 of you have seen what I do this year alone...that's a big number in book...small to some, big to me.but you know what?on a given week, I can count with maybe two hands (if it's a good week) the amount of verbal affirmation towards the things I post.enter insecurity. ;)it's maddening...the hunger and need for verbal affirmation.the conclusion to this maddening insecurity at thirty-seven years of age?let. it. go.if I truly believe God created me to be me and I'm to strive being the best me I can be for His glory.what. does. it. matter. what. anyone. else. thinks. or says?!you might already be doing this, but I'm a little slow and this one is finally beginning to sink in at the old age of 37. ;)one of my favorite verses that immediately roots out my intentions...the intention of is it for me or for His glory?:"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."I genuinely want Him to get the glory for my life...that means not caring about opinions to my right or left and to stay focused straight ahead on the tasks He's given me to do.that type of thought and determination is not natural...it's super-natural and only comes from Him.I know I've learned more things at 37, but those are the ones that stuck out to me the most.thank you for loving me, for listening to my rambling thoughts and for allowing me a part of yours.here's to another thirty-seven years of life :)